Every week there’s a bunch of music-related stories, links, videos and other internet goodies that are a little on the trashy side, but for whatever reason get everyone in the office talking.
This is what the Tone Deaf Trash Can is all about: it’s our avenue for sharing the funniest, weirdest and downright tackiest music stories of the week to help you keep up to date with the best (and worst) things happening in pop culture. Don’t feel guilty – you’re allowed to enjoy it.
One Direction Blaze Up In Peru, Become ‘Stoned Direction’
It’s official: One Direction have now entered the inevitable ‘bad boy’ era of the boy band life cycle.
Video footage has emerged showing members Zayn Malik and Louis Tomlinson smoking a cheeky joint in an SVU in Peru and generally only going in one direction – up. You know, as in high. Weed jokes, you guys.
The video is filmed and narrated by Tomlinson, whose voice carries the same excitement as a 13-year-old having their first puff behind the bike shed, and sees Malik puffing away at the devil’s grass while wearing a very on-theme Bob Marley singlet. The boys are on their way to a stadium show to play in front of thousands of young girls, who must now be very shocked to find out their idols are killing themselves via marijuana.
“Here we are, leaving Peru, joint lit. Happy days! What do you think Zayn? About that kind of content?” asks Tomlinson, who later refers to the passing police as ‘po-po’. He is 22 years old.
“I think it’s very controversial,” Malik replies. Controversial, indeed. After all, this is the first time a musician has ever been caught smoking weed.
Watch the horrific video footage below. #Pray4OneDankrection
Snoop Dogg And Seth Rogen Get High, Discuss Game Of Stoned Thrones
Giving One Direction a lesson in smoking that ~dank kush~, this week Snoop Dogg invited his like-minded pal Seth Rogen onto his web show to hang out and indulge in their mutual interests, namely, smoking weed, talking about Game Of Thrones, and doing both of those things at the same time.
“I fuck with the Game Of Thrones, that’s my shit,” announces Snoop in a slow drawl, and the two launch off into a hilariously hazy discussion filled with plenty of Rogen’s infectious chuckles and Snoop’s surprisingly impressive character impersonations and plot breakdowns.
For instance, take his recap of what Tyrion has been up to this season (spoiler warning):
“The litte midget, he was in love with a whore, so he fucked around and they was ‘gonna get him some — his father was ‘gonna hook him up but he was like, he couldn’t shut his ass up, so now he ‘gon have to fight this big ass gigantic mother fucker.”
Watch the full thing below – it’s so good it almost makes up for there not being a new episode this week.
You’ll Never Guess How Much Lana Del Rey Was Paid To Sing At Kanye’s Wedding
Understated couple Kanye West and Kim Kardashian officially tied the knot this week, but the reserved pair, known for keeping to themselves, totally didn’t really make a big deal about it or anything. They only allegedly spent a breezy $2 billion.
Their ceremony in Florence was simple, almost minimalist, while their pre-wedding festivities at the Palace of Versailles were described by an anonymous guest as “cosy… definitely not excessive”.
So when it was revealed that Kanye surprised his wife-to-be with a performance from her favourite singer, Lana Del Rey, it didn’t really come as a shock that Kanye reportedly spent $2.8 million to get a three-song serenade from Lizzie Grant. After all – the rapper did propose to Kim at a baseball game with ‘Young And Beautiful’ playing in the background.
However, now Lana Del Rey has just shot back at these claims, telling TMZ she didn’t take a cent.
“I would never let a friend pay me to sing at a wedding,” the wedding singer told the reporters, and when a cameraman asked her how much it’d cost for her to sing at his wedding, Del Rey replied: “I’d do it for free just like I did this one.”
Should we believe her claims? Or is she playing (video) game$ with us?
Macauley Culkin’s Band Pizza Underground Booed Offstage In Pizzasterous Performance
ICYMI, child star-turned-what is he doing clusterfuck Macauley Culkin is now part of a pizza-themed band called Pizza Underground, and they’re so bad that they’re tarnishing the reputation of the world’s most-loved food, and people are getting pretty pizzed off about it.
Performing at the Dot To Dot festival in Nottingham, the band were forced to cut their set just 15 minutes in after being savagely booed and pelted with pints of beer. The crowd were so hangry that not even free pizza and a cover of Lou Reed’s ‘It’s A Pizza Day’ could satisfy their hunger.
Culkin, who plays percussion, kazoo and the pizza box (yes – he bangs on the box as an instrument), reportedly tried to reason with the hecklers, saying, “Why are you throwing those? I’d rather drink them!”, but this just made matters worse and eventually the band members were picked off one-by-one like unwanted bits of pineapple on a slice of Hawaiian.
Keep the change, you filthy animal.
“@d2dnottingham: @cheesedayz in the house! pic.twitter.com/oSmxEuXFZF” @MartynaSaysHey him handing you the pizza
— gee (@bl0nd_b0mbshell) May 26, 2014
50 Cent Throws Humiliating First Pitch, Misses It By That Much
Speaking of change, this week 50 Cent went and made a meme out of himself with a terrible opening pitch at a game between the New York Mets and the Pittsburgh Pirates that was basically the opposite of pitch perfect.
The rapper at least had it in him to laugh at himself, later tweeting, “The sh!t almost hit the camera man damn… I’m a hustler not a damn ball player. LMAO”.
In Fiddy’s defence, the throw really had him spending all he got, but he needs keep going till he hits that spot.