Every week there’s a bunch of music-related stories, links, videos and other internet goodies that are a little on the trashy side, but for whatever reason get everyone in the office talking.

This is what the Tone Deaf Trash Can is all about: it’s our avenue for sharing the funniest, weirdest and downright tackiest music stories of the week to help you keep up to date with the best (and worst) things happening in pop culture. Don’t feel guilty – you’re allowed to enjoy it.

Kanye West Is Completing His Community Service At Fashion Schools Because #Fashun

ICYMI, earlier this year the mastermind behind the leather jogging pant and creator of the $120 plain white t-shirt, Kanye West, avoided jail time by pleading guilty to criminal battery and attempted grand theft after his brawl with a paparazzi photographer. Instead it was decided he would complete 250 hours in community service, but as it turns out, his punishment is actually his favourite pass time: talking to anyone who will listen to him.

As the ever-trusty TMZ report, Kanye isn’t completing his community service duties by picking up rubbish or scrubbing graffiti, but by talking about fashion at different colleges across America. Yeezy has already given three lectures at the LA Trade Technical College in six weeks, with his most recent teachings stretching way past the three hour mark because, let’s face it, the man has a lot on his mind.

This pretty much compromises everything I’ve learnt about the justice system from watching Orange Is The New Black, but then again, considering West is a respected fashion figure who’s interned at Louis Vuitton and Fendi and he’s the number one rockstar on the planet, maybe sharing his prophetic wisdom upon young fashion plebs is a form of community service after all.

Whether you love him or loath him would you really turn down a lecture from Professor Kanye?

Nicki Minaj Gives Tips For Dating Drake

There’s not a rapper on this planet with more feels than Drake. The man is beautifully in-touch with his emotions, and while his sensitivity has made him victim of some hilarious internet memes (looking at you, Drake The Type…), it’s also one of the reason the ladies love him.

Now his strictly-platonic label mate Nicki Minaj has given the world some choice tips for those hoping to win over Drizzy’s fragile, romantic heart.

“I think what works with Drake is if you act like you don’t like him,” the rapper said in a new interview with Capital Xtra, joking, “Be horrible to him and then you’ll get [his attention].”

“I’m kidding. I think he likes intellectual women, actually. He likes fat asses but I think he [also] likes a girl who can hold a conversation.”

You hear that? If you’re good at playing hard to get, you have a bit of junk in the old trunk and you’re good at talking, it seems like Drake is pretty much yours. Go easy with him, though, he’s a precious ‘lil petal – just look at his attempt at sweet-talking Rihanna circa 2010.

So dreamy. So Drizzy.

Kanye And Kim Throw North West Coachella-Themed First Birthday Party

Look, to be honest the Trash Can could probably be filled each week purely with Kimye updates, so you should probably appreciate the fact there’s only two of them in this edition.

This week the laid back couple celebrated the first birthday of their first-born child and illuminati prophet, North West, in typically understated fashion: by casually giving North her very own festival, Kidchella.

Stalking the Kardashian clan’s Instagrams, the very average birthday bash featured a ferris wheel, North’s also questionably-named baby friends like ‘Zeplin’, custom kid-sized Yeezus t-shirts, a music stage with karaoke, and last but not least, some cringeworthy Native American appropriation courtesy of Khloe.

Ugh.

One things for sure: everyone went home from Kidchella agreeing it was a day that North’s developing infantile one-year-old brain will never, ever forget. Bless.

Erotic One Direction Fanfiction Inks Six-Figure Deal

Because Twilight fanfiction turned global phenomenon 50 Shades Of Grey didn’t take modern literature to a strange enough place, now the next big thing is an erotic fanfic about everyone’s favourite weed-smoking boy band, One Direction.

25-year-old Anna Todd, who goes by the handle @Imaginator1dx, is the author of After, a saucy 300-chapter fanfic that tells the story of a college student named Tessa who falls in love for a punk version of 1D’s resident curly-haired leader, Harry Styles. To paint a picture of how big a deal this fanfic is, it has currently has more than 800 million reads on Wattpad.

This week Todd’s One Derection (sic) fantasy landed a shiny six-figure publishing deal and its movie rights already being sold as well, meaning we’ll be seeing After in bookstores, movie screens and in the clammy clasps of middle-aged soccer mums very, very soon.

“It really started when I was on Instagram one day, and I saw these little mini stories people were writing about Harry Styles, which was crazy to me,” Todd told Sugarscape. “Then one of the girls I had followed on Instagram put her story on Wattpad. I had no idea what that was, but I followed the link and it was this whole world of 1D fan fiction.”

Katy Perry Offers To Write Hillary Clinton’s Campaign Song, Gets Rejected

“So let me get you in your birthday suit/It’s time to bring out the big balloons/So let me get you in your birthday suit/It’s time to bring out the big, big, big, big, big, big balloons.”

Yep, those are actual, existing lyrics from Katy Perry’s latest single. That considered, absolutely no-one was surprised when Hillary Clinton politely declined Katy’s offer of penning her presidential anthem.

The pair met at one of Clinton’s signings for her new book, Hard Choices, and while the pair cozied up for a cheeky mutually-beneficial Instagram picture, Clinton had no shame in awkwardly saying ‘no’ to her new mate’s song offer.

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