Every week there’s a bunch of music-related stories, links, videos and other internet goodies that are a little on the trashy side, but for whatever reason get everyone in the office talking.
This is what the Tone Deaf Trash Can is all about: it’s our avenue for sharing the funniest, weirdest and downright tackiest music stories of the week to help you keep up to date with the best (and worst) things happening in pop culture. Don’t feel guilty – you’re allowed to enjoy it.
First Thing’s First, This Mashup Of Barack Obama Singing ‘Fancy’ Is The Realest
The genius dubbing masterminds behind the YouTube channel Barackdubs have dropped another hit, and once again they’ve made the whole world feel it.
Their latest venture is another meticulously edited mashup of the Pres rapping out our very own Iggy Azalea’s ubiquitous breakout hit, ‘Fancy’, and it’s some of the best mind-numbing 60 seconds of entertainment we’ve seen this week.
Seeing as it took me far, far too long to pull off that shoddy Photoshop effort seen above, it makes me physically ill to think about how many hours it takes these people to find all that footage and turn it into a song. Also, unsure how they found the footage of the President saying bitch.
Above all else, this video makes me want to take a nap.
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Delta Goodrem Caught White Girl Dancing At Beyoncé Concert, Responds ***Flawlessly To H8rs
If there’s one thing we know about Australia’s golden girl of mid-2000s emotional piano ballads, Delta Goodrem, it’s that she was Born To Try™, god dammit, and even though she might not be the best dancer in her group of gal pals hitting up a Beyoncé concert on a Monday night, she’s going to fucking try anyway because that’s what she was born to do.
Yes, so it’s a Monday night, and old mate Delta is letting her hair down at a Jay Z/Beyoncé show. She’s loving it sick – ‘Single Ladies’ just came on and she’s giving it her best crack, literally dancing like no-one was watching.
Only, someone was.
Unbeknownst to Delta, the guy she’s standing next to is Marlon Wayans, the actor best-known for starring in the 2004 movie White Chicks, a comedy that was dedicated to poking fun at dancing white girls like Goodrem.
Wayans was obviously quite stunned with the shonky dance moves going down at approximately three o’clock, so he went and took a photo catching Delta mid-hands in the air like you just don’t care on Instagram, captioned, “Man I got the most UNRHYTHMIC WHITE WOMAN dancing next to me at the Jay and Bay concert… This bitch dancing to AC/DC”. It went v viral, v quickly.
But then, in a stunning twist more shocking than any of her story arcs as Nina Tucker on Neighbours, homegirl Delta went and pulled off the most stunningly self-aware comeback Tweet that gave precisely zero fucks and instantly restored her (albeit already pretty dismal) street cred.
Had a blast last night. https://t.co/2bD5hVJ6IA
— Delta Goodrem (@DeltaGoodrem) August 5, 2014
That’s how you turn a situation looking like this:
Into something like this:
Delta Goodrem: woke up like this.
Cows Love Lorde Too, We’re On Each Other’s Team
Farmers must get pretty lonely out in the fields. They probably don’t get a very strong 3G signal, so these true blue heroes like our friend Derek Klingenberg here have to get their kicks a different way: you know, like by treating their herds of cattle to trombone renditions of modern pop songs.
Klingenberg, who is apparently somewhat of a celebrity in the internet’s bustling farming community, uploaded a video of himself herding in his bovines to the tune of Lorde’s ‘Royals’. And just like yours truly at Lorde’s recent Melbourne show, or even like Delta at a Beyoncé concert, they dig it.
Hereby formally adding ‘can make the cows come home’ onto the long list of Lorde’s underage achievements.
So, Chris Pratt Is Really Good At Rapping Like Eminem
Guardian of our Galaxy and man with a more impressive before-and-after transformation than any Ab King Pro success story Chris Pratt had already convinced us he was the male equivalent of Jennifer Lawrence, so he didn’t need to do this.
Parks & Rec‘s resident goofball turned Hollywood superstar Chris Pratt is a man of many talents: he’s the Guardian of our Galaxy, he has a more impressive before-and-after transformation than any Ab King Pro success story, and he’s also really good at spitting some vintage Marshall Mathers.
Pratt recently discussed his love for rap music in a radio interview, calling Dr Dre’s The Chronic 2001 “kind of like my Peter Quill Mix.”
“Me and my friend lived in a van in Maui, and we listened to that and smoked weed every day. I know every word to that album,” the actor claimed. Then when he was dared to walk the walk, he fucking walked that walk and then some, nailing an on-point word-for-word delivery of Eminem’s verse.
The internet was so taken aback by the rap game’s most unexpected challenger that Reddit user TreyTech synched Pratt’s rapping to the original music, and it’s amazing.
And that you did, Andy Dwyer.
Justin Bieber Saves Russian Fisherman From Savage Bear Attack
A Russian fisherman has thanked Fuckwit of the Galaxy Justin Bieber for saving his life. That is a thing that happened this week.
42-year-old Igor Vorozhbitsyn was minding his own business yesterday, just fishing away, when a silly brown bear decided to be a ‘lil prankster and give Vorozhbitsyn a bit of a fright, tapping him on the shoulder with his razor-sharp claws and then pushing him ’round a lil bit with the force of a small bus.
So there Vorozhbitsyn was, getting mauled by a bear and probably watching his life flash before his eyes, and then suddenly his phone started ringing; his phone with Justin Bieber’s ‘Baby’ set as its ringtone. It immediately sent the wild beast running for the hills, abandoning leaving a bloody Vorozhbitsyn on the forest floor unable to runaway
“I had parked my car and was walking towards the spot I’d marked out when there was a tremendous impact on my back and the bear was on top of me,” Vorozhbitsyn told Central European News (via New York Post).
“I couldn’t believe my luck when the phone went off and he fled. I know that sort of ringtone isn’t to everyone’s taste, but my granddaughter loaded it onto my phone for a joke.”
Vorozhbitsyn is recovering from some serious woundage and a newly-contracted case of Bieber Fever. May he recover quickly.