Ah, nobody can deny their love for a little bit of trash, and to provide 2015 with its first stench of verbal garbage, “rock/rapper” Kid Rock has given what has to be one of the most side-splitting, ludicrous interviews of the past 12 months.
Published by The Guardian just one day ago, the 43-year old Michigan native spat free-flowing nonsense to the publication, giving the great rambling Kanye West a decent run for his money after his tremendously hilarious interview of 2013, more than likely to get his name in the headlines for his forthcoming record First Kiss, which to the musician’s credit, is his tenth studio LP release.
Despite giving Kid Rock exactly what he wanted, we couldn’t let this classic interview be ignored and decided to piece together a little list of the “things we learnt” from the profound party boy, we must however warn you what follows is almost too much to handle, and sadly despite his age, Kid Rock has not grown into Adult Rock.
Kid Rock Only Uses His Computer For Porn
“I don’t FaceTweet or whatever people do. I understand that I’m the old guy now. I turn on my computer and look at porn a little bit, see what’s going on in the news, but that’s about it. I’m comfortable with that.”
Weed, Cocaine & Heroin Should Be Legal
“I don’t smoke much weed, it makes me dumb. But they should legalise and tax everything: pot, cocaine, heroin. Has it not been proven that people will always find a way to get what they want?”
Kid Rock Is Disgustingly Politically Incorrect
“Rap-rock was what people wanted at the time, and they still love those songs at shows. But it turned into a lot of bullshit and it turned out to be pretty gay… If someone says you can’t say “gay” like that you tell them to go fuck themselves. You’re not going to get anything politically correct out of me.” However, he does provide some form of concession “As an ordained minister I don’t look forward to marrying gay people, but I’m not opposed to it.”
Look Out, He’s Obsessed With Guns
“I’m always buying more guns. I have everything from a Civil War cannon to an MP5 machine gun and old police guns. If someone invades your house, yeah, you can shoot them. I don’t think crazy people should have guns.”
You Gotta Sell 14 Million Records To Get The Girls
“My success with women picked up around the 14 millionth record I sold. I know what it was about – I don’t exactly look like Brad Pitt. I learned to be careful. I didn’t want 10 kids around. But there have been a lot of women. I could have set a better example for my son. When he was a teenager I’d bring home girls that he had more in common with than I did.”
Kid Rock? More Like Grandfather Rock
“I’m 43 and about to become a grandfather, but it keeps my redneck street cred up. I could be a great-great-great-grandfather by the time I’m 80. I am excited, but also nervous for my son. He was dropped on my doorstep at six months when I had no money and was trying to be a rock star. I didn’t have a clue.”
But He Still Loves To Party
“The partying gene skips a generation. I was really wild and I never saw that in my son. He’ll have a few drinks, but that’s it. He’ll say: ‘Right, I’m going home,’ and I’m like: ‘Ha! We’re just getting warm.'”
