Just when you thought wrinkled UK rockers Status Quo couldn’t earn any more cringe to their stripes, their latest announcement is more embarrassing than your drunk uncle performing karaoke at the Christmas family dinner.

Which is almost exactly what Status Quo did, by re-writing their 1974 hit, “Down Down” for Coles and their latest advert in the (consistently aggravating) “Down Down” campaign (Choice lyric: “Down, down, prices are down/When you need a helping hand/ Count on the savings of that Coles big red hand”).

The results were as cheesy as the dairy aisle, with the three-minute commercial featuring the band ‘jamming’ on their 70s hit with the kind of passion that only comes from spruiking grocery bargains.

All while wearing foam pairs of the Coles’ distinctive big red hands, while the guitarists went one better and replace their instruments with those in the shape of the marketing signs.

Now, Coles and Status Quo are taking their unholy union to a whole new level, with Mumbrella reporting that Status Quo have announced a March/April Australian Tour for 2013… and the promoter? Yep. Coles.

The forthcoming tour – which will feature Coles branding – coincides with the release of Status Quo’s new studio album, Quid Pro Quo, which will be sold exclusively in Coles supermarkets, and include the re-worked song advertisment of “Down Down” featured in the Coles promotion.

A press release for the supermarket-promoted tour quotes Simon McDowell, Coles group director of marketing, saying (brace yourselves): “Our customers love the original ‘Down Down’ and we have got Status Quo to thank for coming up with such a catchy riff.”

Further adding, “while we take our business very seriously – the tour will be a bit of fun and what better way to celebrate ‘Down Down’ and the famous Coles Big Red Hand, than by experiencing it live.” We could think of a few ways…

Meanwhile, Matthew Lazarus-Hall, CEO for Chugg Entertainment, who are helping bring out the British rock group add the they’re “thrilled to be involved with their return” to Australia. Adding “the synergy with the new Coles campaign was perfect.”

Wouldn’t be our choice of words, unless it was “a perfect example of selling out.”

Let’s at least hope that ticket prices are ‘Down Down’, or that you can claim FlyBuys on them, that’d be handy.

No word as yet as to whether the Big Red Hand Guitars featured in the cringeworthy ad – originally available for sale in Coles supermarkets – will make their way to the merch stands.

Alternatively, we hope there’s some groceries available on site as well. Maybe even some fresh produce? But then again, maybe it would be too tempting to pelt it… all together now, “Down down, credibility is down”


Wednesday 27th March 27 – Hordern Pavilion, Sydney
www.ticketek.com.au Box Office: 132 849

Thursday March 28 – Brisbane Convention Centre, Brisbane
www.ticketek.com.au Box Office: 132 849

Tuesday 2nd April – Thebarton Theatre, Adelaide
www.venuetix.com.au Box Office: 08 8225 8888

Wednesday 3rd April – Palais Theatre, Melbourne
www.ticketmaster.com.au Box Office: 136 100

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