Diplo has spent his time in isolation jacking off, apparently

Diplo has truly been the saving grace of self-isolation. The California-based DJ has proven himself a content machine. He’s streamed DJ sets on Instagram Live, created bizarre Tik Tok’s exploring aching loneliness with a chicken, and put the legacy of Lionel Messi to shame with a very real and not at all digitally enhanced toilet paper challenge. It’s the kind of chaotic, unhinged entertainment that we so desperately yearn for in this strange time.

If you were wondering what Diplo is doing in self-quarantine when not churning out content for us, we finally have answers. As the folks over at Pedestrian report, John Mayer and Cazzie David recently went live on Instagram together where they discussed all things COVID-19 and self-isolation.

Naturally, in this manically horny time, the topic deviated towards quarantine nudes. “Nudes are all we have right now,” David proclaimed.

This spurred Diplo to chime in with the brave admission that he has spent every day in quarantine jacking off. “I’ve broken up with myself and had make-up sex everyday for the past two weeks,” he wrote.

It’s honestly the noblest self-isolation admission I’ve read from a celebrity thus far. I care not to hear about personal projects or moments of self-actualisation. I want to kill off the notion of the celebrity. I want to read about how the Coachella headliners are spending their time by themselves smoking weed and eating peanut butter out of a jar.

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