By the end of every week there are a bunch of music-related stories, cool links, videos, and other internet ditties that are a little on the trashy side.
As a remedy to this, we’re happy to introduce our new column Trash Can– our avenue for sharing the funny, the weird, and the downright tacky music stories of the week. Enjoy!
Britney Spears Songs Used To Scare Off Somali Pirates In Africa
If there’s any lesson we can learn from this story, it’s that violence should ALWAYS be the last resort, with pop music from the early 2000’s proving far more effective. Or at least that’s the case along Africa’s east coast, where the music of Britney Spears is being used to deter Somali pirates. Security teams report “Oops! I Did It Again” and “Hit Me Baby One More Time” as the most successful, with the tunes literally turning boats around. Steven Jones, of the Security Association for the Maritime Industry speaks of Pirates going to ‘any lengths to avoid or try to overcome the music”, and is adamant that there’s no-one but Spears the job: “I’d imagine using Justin Bieber would be against the Geneva Convention.”
Springsteen Tells Dirty Jokes For Charity & It’s Mega Uncomfortable
Bruce Springsteen released his inner weird inappropriate uncle at a recent veterans benefit in New York. The seventh annual Stand Up For Heroes featured comedy from the likes of Jerry Seinfeld, Bill Cosby and Jon Stewart, but The Boss decided to take things into his own hands during his stripped back 20 minute set. There are three groan inducing gags, with subject matter ranging from gypsy erectile disfunction cures to the truly gross brothel escapades of a gal called “Hurricane Tessy”… So all round some pretty high brow stuff. This guns for hire, but lets hope that it’s not to tell jokes again any time soon. Watch if you dare , Springsteen cracks his funnies at 1:30, 7:06 and 13:45, but remember, we warned you.
Van Halen Solve World Peace On South Park
Some years ago, South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone figured out that the best way to disperse a worryingly rapid-growing hippy congregation was to blast Slayer into the crowd. Now they’ve set their sights on the age-old problem of unrest in the Middle East, and found that in order to bring peace between region’s different religious groups, it is necessary to unite them through song. And that song just so happens to be Van Halen’s ‘Ain’t Talking About Love.’ Check out the hilarious crowd reaction to a live performance by DLR, Eddie and co. in Jerusalem.
Flaming Lips x Ke$ha Album Not Happening Anymore… Thank Christ
h, what could have been… The Lip$ha album, slated by Flaming Lips front man Wayne Coyne back in April, has been canned. Coyne tweeted simply that “As of now… Sadly there will be no Lip$ha,” offering no explanation, only adding: “I can’t say why… It is sad…” Is it sad though Wayne? I reckon you might just have dodged a bullet there mate.
Questlove Wrote An 800-Word Eulogy For His Chicken Restaurant
It was with an astounding amount of poultry based puns that Roots member Questlove farewelled his NYC based fried chicken restraunt, Hybird. The 800 word eulogy details his love of food (“i too dreamed of sushi or techno emotional cuisine”) before lamenting the closure, likening it to “throwing your pretty, witty, emo daughter under the bus….well….because she’s a pretty, witty, emo chick who’s become taken w/ dancing at the edge of a fiscal cliff”. While there isn’t any sign of fowl play, it remains unknown why the successful venture has come to an end. And that chicken looked damn good. RIP
