The tour rider is usually a pretty reliable source in determining just how ridiculous, pretentious, or unreasonable a musician can be (sometimes all three, take a bow Madonna)
For those not up to speed, a backstage rider is usually a list of specifications or demands from a performer made in an agreement with a venue or promoter for a concert, and can run the gamut from food and alcohol to stage set-up, pack in and out times. But what should be a generally standard document can be a hilarious insight into the eccentric lifestyles of a touring artist – the most famous example being Van Halen’s ‘No Brown M&Ms’ request.
Claire Boucher, better known as the woman behind Grimes, is a fan of reading up on such outrageous rock star requests, and in writing her personal tumblr page, the Canadian DIY pop futurist has shared a few of her own with her fans
“I dunno if anyone cares about this stuff but I’m like obsessed with reading other peoples riders lol,” writes Grimes on her tumblr, as Pitchfork points out; “so if ur anything like me perhaps this is of interest to you.”
With a combination of happy, healthy food requirements and some outlandish demands, Grimes’ rider is indeed of interest, and goes down as one of the cutest in the rock star rider pantheon.
The excerpts being by noting it is “VERY IMPORTANT” that “everything is conducted in as green and eco-friendly a manner as possible.” Meaning, “absolutely no styrofoam, plastic, or foil containers may come in contact with food products.” It also means having local, organic food, no plastic silverware, no bottled water, and zero candy backstage. Also zero peanuts thanks, as “a member of our touring party has a life-threatening allergy.”
The best part? That’d be this undisputed highlight:
If possible, one cute bulldog, french bulldog, pug or pomeranian (or other cute animal, such as a chinchilla or pekanese) to visit and hang out but who gets to leave before too much loud noise is heard so that he or she does not hurt their ears. It is important that if said animal visits, they have a safe home to return to. lol.”
It is unconfirmed if that is indeed the first (and possibly last) use of LOL in a backstage rider. Plus, there were no sighted reports of cute dogs surrounding Grimes’ energetic set at Meredith Music Festival last year, which is a damn shame when you think about it; though Aunty Meredith and her acolytes must have approved of the ‘Oblivion’ singer’s eco-friendly approach.
Still, would you expect anything less than uniquely entertaining from the self-described “tech-faery”, who has one of the most entertaining twitter accounts in music (recent sample: “whenever i see a picture of myself on stage i either look like im doing stand-up or farting.”)
Perhaps the producers of new online reality TV show The Rider Challenge – in which contestants gather up musician’s peculiar backstage requests in the vein of The Amazing Race – could hit up the Visions music-maker for their second season?
Read Grimes’ tour rider excerpts below:
