Nobody gives great quote quite like the Gallagher brothers, especially when they’re riled up.
So when former Oasis linchpin Noel Gallagher admits he “fucking had a shit year,” you can bet he’s going to let some sweary, spun gold fly.
And so it goes in a new Rolling Stone interview in which Gallagher Snr mouths off on the year’s best and worst music in a long series of entertainingly ‘colourful’ opinions on some of the year’s biggest releases.
In a year where he’s been hunkered down on new material for his Flying Birds solo venture (and somehow become BFFs with Blur’s Damon Albarn), the Britpop icon has had more time this year to grind his proverbial sharp-tongued axe against the likes of BBC Radio 1 for not championing his tastes in good music (re: Aussie band, Jagwar Ma).
“All I’ve done is sit around the house and become a fucking hypochondriac,” Gallagher tells Rolling Stone. “Dog-shit year. Can’t wait until it’s over.”
That may be the case, but the British guitarist and songwriter’s quotable pearlers are sure to shoot straight to the top of any end-of-year musician-on-musician insults.
So without further ado, here are Gallagher’s opinions on some of the year’s biggest artists, ranked in order from “fucking masterpiece” to a certain Big Day Out act that “needs to pry themselves out of their own asshole.” (And no, it isn’t Liam’s Beady Eye).
David Bowie – The Next Day
“I think any year that David Bowie puts an album out has got to be a great year, eh?…
“I thought at the time, and I still think now, that it’s a fucking masterpiece. I love it. Nobody has the right to be that fucking good at this point in their career. Apart from Neil Young, all of the people that are in his league are basically fucking shit.
“‘Valentine’s Day,’ that song is just fucking outrageous. There’s at least three songs on there that you listen to them and immediately pick the guitar up and just think, ‘Fucking bastard! Why did I never write that?’ I think it’s some of the best stuff he’s ever done. I’d give it 10 out of 10. I’d give it 11 out of 10, if I could.
Kanye West – Yeezus
“I actually, for the first time ever, listened to a Kanye West record… I’m not really a fan of his or anything like that. I don’t really like that kind of modern hip-hop, whatever you call it. But somebody told me to watch this interview he did in England [with BBC DJ Zane Lowe], so I watched it, and I thought it was one of the best interviews I’ve ever seen.
“I fuckin’ loved it! Especially the bit about the leather jogging pants or whatever he’s going on about, fucking claiming he invented them.
“[When I heard ‘Black Skinhead’] I was like, ‘What the fucking hell is this?’ And turns out it’s off that new album. So I got the album, and it’s fucking great. I really like it. Particularly that track – it’s fucking out there, do you know what I mean? It’s got a great lo-fi, punk vibe to it.”
Disclosure – Settle
“That’s fucking mega. I went to Glastonbury this year. It was my seventh time, and it was the best one I’ve ever been to. I saw Disclosure in the dance tent, and I thought they were truly fucking amazing. I love that record. It’s got a really old-school fucking acid house vibe to it, which I really fucking like.”
Daft Punk – Random Access Memories ‘Get Lucky’
“Well, I haven’t heard the album. I’m not interested in the album. It’s all about that song, isn’t it? (‘Get Lucky’) It’s so effortless and brilliant and now. It’s got everything. You just think, ‘Has this song always been around, or am I just hearing it for the first time?’ It’s fucking amazing.
“My favorite act at this year’s Glastonbury, when I went, was not the Rolling Stones, as great as they were; was not the Arctic Monkeys, as good as they were; was not Disclosure, as good as they were; but it was Chic. They were fucking mega. Absolutely out of this world. Unfortunately [Nile Rodgers] didn’t play ‘Get Lucky,’ but what an amazing, amazing track.”
Arctic Monkeys – AM
“Half of [it] is really good. You know, the other half is like, ‘Eh, yeah’ – but half of it is really fucking good.”
Robin Thicke – ‘Blurred Lines’
“I don’t mind it. It sounded good on the radio. Got a bit annoying after the five millionth time you’ve heard it. I think he’s going to be a one-hit wonder, surely. It’ll be like that guy who’s done “Gangnam Style” – we’ll never hear from him again.”
Miley Cyrus (In General)
“I feel bad for ’em. It’s like, “Write a good song. Don’t make a provocative video – write a good fucking song. That’ll serve you better, I think.” She was on TV recently, Miley Ray Cyrus, and it was just like, “What the fuck is all this about?” I don’t know. It’s a shame, because it puts all the other female artists back about fucking five years. Now, Adele and Emili Sande – that music, to me, is like music for fucking grannies, but at least it’s got some kind of credibility.
“It’s just embarrassing. Be good. Don’t be outrageous. Anybody can be outrageous! I could go to the Rolling Stone office and fucking shit on top of a boiled egg, right? And people would go, ‘Wow, fucking hell, that’s outrageous!’ But is it any good? No, because, essentially, it’s just a shit on top of a boiled egg.”
Lady Gaga – ArtPOP
“She’s another one. In fact, she’s probably doing a shit on top of a boiled egg right now. And somebody will fucking freeze it and call it art.”
Arcade Fire – Reflektor
“I haven’t heard it. Anybody that comes back with a double album, to me, needs to pry themselves out of their own asshole. This is not the Seventies, okay? Go and ask Billy Corgan about a double album. Who has the fucking time, in 2013, to sit through 45 minutes of a single album? How arrogant are these people to think that you’ve got an hour and a half to listen to a fucking record?
[When told that Bowie sings backup on ‘Reflektor’]: “Oh, that’s a shame.”
And The Rest…
“And what else? There’s singles on British radio that I don’t know what they’re fucking called. I have no idea. I hear them when I’m getting my kids ready for school. As for what they’re called? Fuck knows.
“The game has shifted to shiny, urban pop, you know? It’s like, back in the Nineties, when I was going, guitar music was the main thing in Britain or England. Now the focus has shifted to something else. But that’s all right. You’ve got to find it yourself. It’s kind of like going back to what alternative music was before Oasis ruined everything by being massive.”
