Have you ever wondered what Lorde’s “Royals” would sound like as an anthem written by homophobic, insane Christians?
No? Neither had we, but that hasn’t stopped everybody’s favourite fundamentalists the Westboro Baptist Church from bringing their unique brand of fire and brimstone to the international smash anthem and posting it online for all the world to enjoy.
Usually known to picket funerals of US soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan carrying placards declaring ‘God hates fags’ and ‘Thank God for dead soldiers’, the church group also hates Radiohead labelling the popular British group ‘freak monkeys with mediocre tunes’.
Now they’re turning their attention to Kiwi rising star Lorde, and the group are gearing up to picket her upcoming American tour. The group claim that the 17-year old singer songwriter is “carrying an idolatrous attraction for worthless human “royalty,” and “has been done a grievous disservice by the adults in her life.”
“They have failed to train her in the nurture and admonition of the LORD,” the statement continued, “and she therefore spends her time, energy and talent serving herself and teaching other young people how to be indolent rebels.”
But it is their reworking of Lorde’s smash hit Royals that’s the most shocking, but only because of how terrible it is.
What once was the lyricals smack down of celebrity and pop culture, now is a story about what sinners such as Radiohead and Lorde have to look forward to when the impending apocalypse comes, with lyrics such as “He’s greater than you ever dreamed, he’s gonna make you mighty scream, crispy ’cause you didn’t care, we’ll be caught up with him in the air”.
Have a listen to the track yourself below.
Of course, Lorde’s taken it all in her stride. “Hahaha omg just found out westboro baptist church are going to picket my show in kansas city,” she wrote on Twitter. “Everyone try to kiss church members who are same sex as you they will so love it christmas comin early in Kansas City.”
It isn’t the first time the church group have protested at a concert. In 2012 they publicly declared war on the Foo Fighters claiming they promoted ‘fornication, adultery, idolatry and fags’ after getting a bit too hot under the collar after watching the homo erotic teaser video put out by the band to promote the tour.
But it was the Foo Fighters who got the last laugh upstaging the planned protest. They arrived unannounced at the protest on the back of a truck, wearing wigs, trucker hats, and fake beards like in their video. They then sang a new song specially written for the protesters entitled ‘Keep It Clean’, a tribute song to same-sex love.
