Every week there’s a bunch of music-related stories, links, videos and other internet goodies that are a little on the trashy side, but for whatever reason get everyone in the office talking.

This is what the Tone Deaf Trash Can is all about: it’s our avenue for sharing the funniest, weirdest and downright tackiest music stories of the week to help you keep up to date with the best (and worst) things happening in pop culture. Don’t feel guilty – you’re allowed to enjoy it.

RiFF RaFF Calls Sam Smith “Chubby Little Fuck Factory” For Cropping Him Out Of Instagram Picture

Rapper who still gets mistaken for James Franco in Spring Breakers, RiFF RaFF, is not someone you want to cross – or crop, as Bert Newton lookalike Sam Smith found out this week.

The pair were photographed together in the crowd at the VMAs last week alongside the fancy Charli XCX and the Britney-to-RiFF-RaFF’s-Justin, Katy Perry. However, when Sam Smith reposted the picture on Instagram, it looked a little different to the original. Can you spot the difference?

Missing: 1x human shark.

RiFF RaFF eventually caught wind of Smith’s sneaky Instagram snub a whole five days after it was posted, but proving that beefs are better late than never, he lashed out with one of the best diss tweets we’ve seen in recent times.

Shots fired. Sam Smith is still yet to reply.

5 Seconds Of Summer Score Their Very First Nude Scandal

It was always going to happen. Boy band single-handedly responsible for boosting sales of tighty whities, 5 Seconds Of Summer, have finally ticked off one of the major boxes on any teenage boy band’s bucket list: the holy Dick Pic Scandal™.

18-year-old bass player Calum Hood, who apparently only just found out about Snapchat’s replay function this week, thought it would be a good idea to send a Snapchat video of himself standing there sans American Apparel underwear to one of his fans.

Unsurprisingly, the opportunistic recipient of Hood’s IRL eggplant emoji then filmed the cheeky video on another phone and uploaded it Vine, and thus, Hood’s Five Inches of Summer was forever immortalised in the Boy Band Nude Scandal Hall of Fame.

But hey, at least the 18-year-old has taken it in his stride.

Is This The Cutest Rap Beef Of 2k14?

Welcome to the rap game: a mystical land where 23-year-olds beef against 11-year-olds and nobody wins except for everyone watching on from the sidelines of the internet. It’s a glorious place.

This week one time ASAP Mob affiliate SpaceGhostPurrp faced off against pre-teen white boy Lil Shark in one of the lamest but bafflingly hilarious rap beefs to grace our Twitter timelines. This is one of those times when it’s better to just let the tweets do the talking because to be quite honest this whole thing kind of has me speechless.

While SpaceGhostPurrp clearly has the more seasoned banter, he was ultimately doomed from the get-go because at the end of the day he’s arguing with an 11-year-old who’s still probably in the fifth grade, and that’s never a good look.

So FKA twigs And Robert Pattinson Are A Thing Now

Just when you think you can finally start to stomach 2k14’s perpetual steam of batshit insanity, two people who you’d never expect to appear in the same sentence together start dating.

Everyone meet FKRob Twigginson*: your new favourite unlikely and still largely questionable power couple.

That’s right – fresh from dropping one of this year’s most critically acclaimed records, FKA twigs (real name Tahliah Barnett) has apparently settled into a romance with Twilight star Robert Pattinson. Yep, that is most definitely a string of words I never thought I’d type.

The rumours of FKRob Twigginson were sparked by an oh-so legitimate “anonymous source” who spoke to the oh-so reliable British Tabloid, The Sun. They said:

“It’s the real deal between Rob and Tahliah. They had been able to keep their relationship secret until recently, but they’re already smitten. He’s been taking her on dates for the last month or so, and has even flown her out to stay with him in New York. He also loves going to her gigs. The main thing for Tahliah is that the relationship remains low key. She wants to be known for her music, not just as ‘Robert Pattinson’s girlfriend’. She’s worried about being bogged down by constant comparisons to Kristen.”

You can obviously that with a giant grain of pink Himalayan rock salt, but Twigs and R-Pats at least appear to be chummy on some kind of level according to these new paparazzi snaps. Unsure how to feel.

*we clearly still need some time to figure out their couple nickname.

Watch This Man Brilliantly Sum Up Every Mumford & Sons Song Ever In One Minute

If Nickelback didn’t exist, Mumford & Sons would easily take the title of the internet’s favourite love-to-hate band. They share the same aural palette: bland, vanilla, with the faint waft of a sweaty bro’s fedora. In fact, the only real difference between the two is that the Mumford boys tend to wear more vests.

As long as Mumford & Sons continue to make generic stadium-sized folk-pop, the internet will continue to parody them. Hell, they’ve even parodied themselves.

Now the latest viral parody comes in the form of this young hero’s cover of ‘Little Lion Man’ that successfully encapsulates the Mumford & Sons’ bearded formula in just 74 seconds.

Whether or not you’re a Mumford & Sons hater or sympathiser, it’s utterly brilliant, and spectacularly accurate.

Mumford & Sons: because once you’ve heard them once, you’ve heard them all.

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