Content Warning: This article discusses sexual assault. If you or someone you know are affected by the following story, you are not alone. To speak to someone, you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14, or 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732.
With festival season kicking off soon, and the impending festival favourite Splendour in the Grass taking place this weekend, there’s no better time than right now to let you know how not to be a dick at a show.
From the simple, honest mistakes, to the down right worst of the worst, we’ve got it all covered.
Don’t grope people.
This one really shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone. Though, if it does, maybe you’ve got some thinking to do. It is never okay [never!], to touch someone in places they don’t wanna be touched.
No matter how drunk someone is [is that not enough of a deterrent?], or how much fun they’re having, or what they’re wearing, it is not okay to grope someone. But, despite this being something rather obvious, it seems like some people just don’t get it.
We’ve all heard of far too many cases of concertgoers and festival attendees being touched, or even worse, in the wrong places. Do your bit to stamp it out. If you see someone doing the wrong thing, call it out, and do your best to put a stop to it. Or worse, if you’re the type of person doing this, maybe rethink your choice to go all together.
Don’t heckle the performers, they really don’t like it.
We’ve all been to those shows where some unique punter decides they’ll tell that singer “you’re hot” or “marry me!”, and man, it sure ain’t cool.
Far too often, it leaves the performer feeling, well, at the very least, uncomfortable. They’re there to do their job, to entertain you, not to hear about how much you love their body.
Don’t mosh at a shit time, sometimes it’s just not right.
Maybe it’s your first gig, but, poorly timed moshing ain’t cool, either.
There are good times to mosh, and then there are some times it really doesn’t work. Don’t throw out punches during the crowd-favourite slow ballad. Pay attention to what those around you are doing, and know the right and wrong times.
If you’re tall, minimise the disruption you cause.
I for one can vouch for saying, it’s not easy being tall.
Yeah, you might get the height advantage of being able to see all that’s going on in front, and around you at a show. But, it does mean often you’ve gotta stick to the back of the crowd. But, that’s okay, and it’s totally the right thing to do.
No one likes the tall human taking up all the seeing space at the front, and ruining the view. Yeah, your mullet is sick, but the 6000 people around you don’t care to get a perfect view of it.
Don’t shout out song requests, especially not ‘Wonderwall’.
We all have a favourite song we’re eager to hear at concerts. But, instead of shouting out requests at every available opportunity, why don’t you do a bit of digging online to find out the set-list.
And a good indicator of whether or not an artist will play that beloved song at your show will be whether or not they’ve played it at the rest of their recent shows. And no, they probably won’t play ‘Wonderwall’, sorry.
So with that in mind, better get those rollerblades [not literally] on and head to a show!
‘The Dickhead Song’ dedicated to the people who do bad things at shows:
