Legendary guitarist for The Who, and established solo artist, Pete Townshend has said that he doesn’t believe he deserves to be alive. 

Speaking of his lengthy and public battle with alcohol and substance abuse, the rocker has said that he’s surprised he made it to eighty years old.

Eighty is a strange number. I didn’t expect … To be absolutely brutal, I don’t deserve to be alive today. I have not been a perfect man. I think what I have done in the past 20 or 30 years has probably much more useful to society than anything I did as a young musician. I know I can continue to do good work in society as someone involved in public service and education and all those things. If that sounds pompous, then f*** you. It’s the truth. It’s a “f*** you” truth that I have to accept about myself,” he told Rolling Stone.

Townshend added: “When I sit in the bathroom and I’m thinking, ‘Yeah, yeah Townshend, you’re going to become a doctor, are you? You’re going to become a professor? What the f***?’

But I have to say, ‘Listen, if I live to be 80, that’ll be one of the only useful things I’ll be able to do.’ [Laughs] I certainly won’t be able to jump seven feet in the air without wires.”

Despite reaching the ripe age of eighty, Townshend reassured fans that he has no plans to stop touring with The Who, but he is considering slowing down a little.

“I had a conversation with Roger [Daltrey]. I said to him, ‘I don’t want to be like one of these guys that dies on tour.’ I do want to retire. And by “retire” I don’t mean retire from being a musician or artist or creator, but retire from the idea that it requires me to say yes to touring for a load of people to get a smile on their face and go home to their wife and go, ‘Hey, honey! Everything is fine! The Who are going back on tour!’,” He said.

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Adding, “To be relieved of that responsibility, in a sense … because Roger is of the opinion that he wants to sing until he drops. That’s not my philosophy of life. There are other things that I want to do, still want to do, and will do, I hope. I hope I’ll live long enough to do them.”

For more on this topic, follow the Classic Rock Observer.

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