Every week there’s a bunch of music-related stories, links, videos and other internet goodies that are a little on the trashy side, but for whatever reason get everyone in the office talking.
This is what the Tone Deaf Trash Can is all about: it’s our avenue for sharing the funniest, weirdest and downright tackiest music stories of the week to help you keep up to date with the best (and worst) things happening in pop culture. Don’t feel guilty – you’re allowed to enjoy it.
Avril Lavigne And Chad Kroeger Look Like They’re Heading For Divorce
In a sad twist of events that in hindsight were poignantly predicted by her 2002 smash hit, it looks like Avril Lavigne is saying see you later to her sk8er boi, Chad Kroeger.
According to totally legit anonymous sources close to the pair, it looks like Chavril’s reign as The World’s Most Tasteful Couple might be drawing to a close after just one year of marriage.
“It’s over,” an insider told to US Weekly in their latest issue. “Chad is just a complete jerk in the way he talks to her, and the way he talks to people in general. A lot of her friends don’t like him.”
Apparently the pair haven’t been spotted together in a while, which means either they’re great at avoiding paparazzi, the paparazzi have forgotten what they look like, or their relationship is well and truly on the rocks.
If it’s the latter, at least we have two ripper breakup albums to look forward to.
But back to this mythical anonymous source, apparently “there’s no concrete timeline for divorce right now” which means we’re just going to hold tight for now and wait with bated breath.
In the meantime, join me in dreaming of a dystopian world in which Chad covers Eamon’s ‘Fuck It (I Don’t Want You Back)’ and Avril replies with Frankee’s ‘Fuck You Right (Nickel)back’.
“I Screwed Up”: Bindi Irwin’s “Wild” Rager At Splendour In The Grass
Noted supporter of animal cruelty who takes her name from a popular item of choice amongst cultural appropriators at festivals, Bindi Irwin, has officially redefined what it means to have a Splendour bender. Your mate Bindi done gone crikey’d at Byron this year.
As the Telegraph reports, the 16-year-old has given a haunting tell-all interview with WHO Magazine about the fateful weekend in July that officially sent her off the rails. The following events are a tragic, sober warning to all music punters ahead of this year’s summer festival season.
Irwin tells about the moment two pingers deep at Danny Brown that it all became too much and she had to ring her mum to apologise for her indulgent sins.
“I called mum up and I go, ‘I’m so sorry’,” said a shaken Bindi. When Terri got the call, she said she “thought 10,000 things in a split second” and almost had to change her khakis.
I suppose you’re wondering what kind of gear Bindi took during her rager? Brace yourselves:
“I had a mocha.”
Well, shit.
Turns out that when Bindi was chewing her face off and “dancing like there is no tomorrow” during ‘Dip’ she was just coming down from her first coffee high, and she only phoned her mum because she “always said to try avoid too much caffeine”.
There you have it. Who else is keen to get #mochamunted at Meredith?
Bill Murray Dances To Turn Down For What, Turns Down For Precisely Nothing
The internet’s favourite embarrassing grandpa, Bill Murray, continues to give us hope that there’s a life to look forward to once we’ve gotten too old to get wrecked off a caffeinated hot chocky at festivals.
Glorious footage has emerged this week of Murray dancing to the banger anthem of 2k14 that Gotham neither deserves nor needs right now/ever but got it anyway, ‘Turn Down For What’, at his turnt-as-heck 64th birthday party.
When the drop hits, Murray, just like 16-year-old EDM lovers worldwide, shits bricks.
The video was filmed on a potato but it’s the only thing we’ve got, you ungrateful bastards.
Need A New Job? Waka Flocka Is Paying $50k For A Personal Blunt Roller
At Tone Deaf we like to keep our readers posted on the latest job openings in the music industry, but this one just might take the cake.
Forget whatever you were planning on doing with that uni degree—rapper Waka Flocka is employing someone to roll his joints, and he’s offering $50,000 a year.
If you’re looking for a different kind of 9-5 grind (that was an edgy weed joke), this might be what you’ve been waiting for.
Flocka Flame issued the call out on Instagram telling people to post pictures of their craft with the hashtag #ICanRoll. Sure enough, thousands of hopefuls are trying their luck at becoming Waka’s Next Top Roller.
Think you can do better? Get rich or die rolling.
Robin Thicke Still Exists, Says He Was Blurred Out Of His Mind During Misogynistic Cultural Heist of 2k13
Man who didn’t even deserve the 20 seconds I spent adding Comic Sans text to his picture, Robin Thicke, has finally offered an explanation for the nightmare-inducing horror that was ‘Blurred Lines’.
Thicke is currently neck-deep in an ongoing legal battle against Marvin Gaye, who is alleging that Thicke and his ‘Blurred Lines’ collaborators – including Pharrell Williams and T.I. – plagiarised his 1977 hit ‘Got To Give It Up’.
The 37-year-old recently gave his court deposition, and as seen in the documents released by The Hollywood Reporter, the singer is disassociating himself from any involvement in the song-writing process by claiming he was, well, high.
“I was high on Vicodin and alcohol when I showed up at the studio, so my recollection is when we made the song, I thought I wanted – I wanted to be more involved than I actually was by the time, nine months later, it became a huge hit and I wanted credit,” Thicke told the court.
“So I started kind of convincing myself that I was a little more part of it than I was and I – because I didn’t want him – I wanted some credit for this big hit. But the reality is, is that Pharrell had the beat and he wrote almost every single part of the song.”
Pharrell supported Thicke’s defensive in his own deposition. In reference to Thicke’s name being listed in the song-writing credits, he said, “This is what happens every day in our industry… You know, people are made to look like they have much more authorship in the situation than they actually do.”
For essentially trying to take the credit and then back-peddling when the court case came up, Thicke gets some more of these:
Still satisfying.
