One of the things we’ve noticed when speaking to international bands and artists is the reverence they have for Triple J. See, Australia’s kind of unique in that we have a national youth broadcaster committed to playing local, independent music.
Triple J even do local artists one better with a resource like Triple J Unearthed. Of course, artists in other countries can use SoundCloud and Bandcamp, but your chances of making an impact are far slimmer, since you’re competing with a crowded global community.
Unearthed is pretty spectacular and we’ve spent hours just randomly sorting through bands and artists. We’ve managed to find a lot of great music and we’ve also managed to find lots of ridiculously hilarious names, too.
Oh, the names. Having shared a few of the Unearthed artists that we reckon are the cream of the crop, we’ve decided to compile a list of some of our favourite band names on Triple J Unearthed. Some are funny, some are obscure, some are ridiculous, but all are memorable.
The Rude Heads
To be honest, we’re actually big fans of this one. We’re certain it’s some sort of totally crude in-joke we’re not getting, but to us it just sounds like the kind of insult a five-year-old would lob at someone: “Shut up, you… rude head!”
We don’t like the fact that the difference between booking an interstate gig or continuing to toil in your hometown can be boiled down to your Facebook likes either, but you could at least make yourself a little easier to Google.
We have a feeling Googling “Perth band” won’t yield the kind of results you want for your project.
Hi, I’m Reclusive Author Thomas Pynchon
Say what you want about this Adelaide outfit, but you could never accuse them of being hard to Google. Basically the opposite of the aforementioned Perth, this particular band name can also be shorted to the catchy acronym HIRATP.
Yeah, it’s okay, that happened to us the first couple of times too. You know what we’re talking about. Quick, glance over at it again. Still seeing it? It’s okay. All in all, it’s a pretty good marketing tactic. Honestly, tell us you wouldn’t do a double take if you saw Flangipanis on a gig poster.
Rosy Bum Monkeys
We just have so many mental images swirling around our heads right now, we can’t even really bring ourselves to analyse this one. Rich, colourful mental images. Ones we won’t dare describe on a family website.
Silver Penis / Voodoo Penis
Like we said, family website and like we said, mental images. Images we didn’t really want, images that won’t go away, images that we’re now paranoid will come to us in our dreams. Damn you, Voodoo Penis! …never thought we’d have to type that.
Speaking of musical projects named after people’s private areas. We don’t really have any issue with this particular name other than the fact that it’s maybe a little bit superfluous to say Dark Anus. That’s where the sun don’t shine, right? Aren’t they all dark? Actually, don’t answer that.
The View From Madeleine’s Couch
If you were an early-to-mid 2000s folk slash indie band with an 8.2 rating from Pitchfork and an appearance on the Garden State soundtrack, this would be such a great name for your flagship single.
We imagine the conversation would go something like this:
Person #1: Have you seen Who’s This?
Person #2: Who?
Person #1: Who’s This?
Person #2: I don’t know, you haven’t told me.
Person #1: No, Who’s This?
Person #2: I said I don’t know!
Person #1: Who’s This?!
Person #2: Who’s This?
Person #1: Yes, Who’s This?
Person #2: No, who’s that?
The Wash jjj
At first we thought that maybe we had stumbled on to the page of a now defunct roundtable current affairs program that used to be broadcast on Triple J, sort of like The Drum or The Project, back before Hack was a thing.
That’s the spirit! Enough of these total downer names like Ronald McCroak and the Cadavers, it’s time we inject some enthusiasm back into the band name game. More exclamation marks please, and if you want to reference kitty cocaine, all the better.
Quite frankly, we’re a fan of any band that’s named after one of our favourite foods. We like to think the Ballarat producer’s mum walked in and asked him what he wants for dinner right as he was entering his artist name into Unearthed and he did that thing where you type the wrong word ’cause you were thinking about something else.