Evanescence singer Amy Lee has opened up about losing her two siblings, Bonnie and Robby, and the profound effect the tragedies have had on her life and her music.

Speaking candidly in a new interview on the Hardcore Humanism podcast, Lee detailed how she copes with the death of both her sister and her brother and how she channels that grief into her music.

Lee’s sister Bonnie died in 1987 at the age of three from an undisclosed illness, her brother Robby passed away in 2018 after struggling with severe epilepsy for most of his life.

“I’ve been through some stuff in my life. I lost my sister when I was six, and then, in a completely different world, so many years later and in a totally different situation, I lost my brother, just in 2018,” Lee explained in the interview.

“It’s like when the worst possible thing that you could ever fear comes true. I’ve seen the moments when that can happen. And I’m not alone in that.

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“To me, going through that, surviving that, being able to continue on and find a way to make your life make sense afterwards, that’s really what I’m talking about.

“It’s not that I like spooky things and darkness because it’s fun to play with danger. It’s that the time that I feel the most afraid or alone or whatever in my life is when it’s like it didn’t happen. It’s like the world just went on living like nothing ever went wrong.

Lee continued: “I remember sometimes feeling really weird on beautiful, sunny days when I was a kid because I felt like it should always be raining when I was grieving my sister.

“It’s kind of the same thing. To be able to talk about it, to be able to admit it, to be able to face it and say, ‘Okay, it hurts this much, and I’m thinking about this stuff.’ To be able to spill my guts is the thing that makes it better, and especially to be able to share it with other people. That’s why music started for me in the first place.”

Lee added: “I think it’s important to face the darkness because it’s real — it’s really there — and if we can’t face it, then we’re just living a lie and letting that stuff bubble under the surface.”

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Watch ‘Better Without You’ by Evanescence below:

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