If only Chris Rock had been mates with Tool frontman Maynard James Keenan, the craziest moment in Oscars history could’ve went a lot differently.
By now, everyone knows what went down at last weekend’s Oscars: Chris Rock makes joke about Jada Pinkett Smith, Will Smith laughs and then gets angry, Will Smith storms the stage and slaps Chris Rock, and the world goes into discourse meltdown for a week.
Now even singers in iconic metal bands are weighing in. Keenan recently earned his brown belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu and uploaded a clip of him in action to Instagram today. “We’re going to go over some of the techniques that could have saved Chris Rock’s life,” he says to the camera.
According to Keenan’s training, Rock’s first fatal error was having his hands behind his back. His solution is – and prepare yourself for a dad joke here – a hand block that Keenan labels a “cuck block”. “I’ll see myself out,” he says with a grin as he retreats out of shot.
I can’t tell what was worse, Keenan’s pun or Rock’s G.I. Jane joke. “I realise we’re on the ass end of beating this dead horse, but fu*kit,” Keenan captioned the post.
In Tool news, the band re-recorded and released ‘Opiate’ as ‘Opiate2’ last month. Almost twice as long as the original thanks to an extended instrumental midsection, an official music video was also released to commemorate the EP’s 30th anniversary.
For Will Smith, his future looks bleak. After days of rumours about what they’d do, the Academy confirmed that disciplinary proceedings will be brought against the actor, with the threat of expulsion still looming.
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“The Board of Governors today initiated disciplinary proceedings against Mr. Smith for violations of the Academy’s Standards of Conduct, including inappropriate physical contact, abusive or threatening behavior, and compromising the integrity of the Academy,” their statement said.
For more on this topic, follow the Metal Observer.
