If your visits to KFC have been plagued by an unnerving lack of bangers and glow sticks, your prayers have finally been answered. North Perth KFC, on the corner of Bulwer and Fitzgerald, is sadly closing, but they’re going out in style by hosting a Tiny Club for their final hours.
“Eventually every independently operated fried chicken franchise must come to an end and, sadly, the North Perth KFC is no exception,” they write on Facebook. “That’s right, that KFC over the road from the Hydey is shutting down. We are taking the logical step of holding a Tiny Club in it for its dying hours.”
“Whether it was scandalous/overhyped food trucks, the Beaufort Street Mexican Explosion or that one Lancer with all the stick-on bodykit that was always parked out the front that killed the KFC: we will never know. What we do know is that this is going to be a fairly loose party inside a KFC. Not really too much to elaborate on there, it is what it is. ”
All your favourite breasts and thighs of Tiny Club will be there dropping zingers hotter than a family pack that just came out the microwave,” they continue. There’ll be a top-notch menu spinning tunes for the occasion, including “KFCDJs”, “DJ Double Down”, and “Pinger B. Urger”.
So if you’ve always dreamed of getting down to some sick bass drops inside of an actual KFC franchise, get down to North Perth KFC tonight from 9pm. Tiny Club say their party is set to rage on till 11pm, when everybody will probably head over to a different KFC for a bite.
Best of all, entry is free and KFC’s delicious and heart-endangering regular menu will be available for purchase for the duration of the rave. Of course, since KFC prides itself on being a family establishment, there’s no alcohol allowed, keep it deep fried.
UPDATE 17/04/15: Unfortunately, the ‘KFC rave’ was such an utterly finger-lickin’ good idea that the organisers have been forced to cancel the event altogether. Writing on Facebook, organisers say the overwhelming response has far exceeded the capacity of the humble North Perth KFC.
“We are very sorry to announce that in the interest of public safety we are going to have to cancel this event. We did not expect it to get this much attention and realistically the venue would only hold around 40 people, so 1000+ would be potentially dangerous for the staff and owners of the restaurant as well as the patrons.”
“We ask that people do NOT attend this KFC tonight (unless you just want to buy some chicken that is),” they continue. “Now that we know there is a demand for dance parties in fast food joints we may look in to organising it properly some time, but for now, the deep fried dream is dead. RIP KFC NORTH PERTH.”
UPDATE 20/04/15: It now appears that the organisers have yielded to reason and awesomeness and decided to host their KFC rave after all. As readers can see in the footage embedded below, the turnout was great and the tunes were funky. We think the Colonel would be proud.