Content warning: This article mentions domestic violence. If you or someone you know is under threat of domestic violence, find your local support services here.
Tones and I’s Toni Watson made the comments during an interview with South African radio station Jacaranda FM.
Tones joined Jacaranda FM’s Breakfast with Martin Bester on Monday to speak about life during lockdown. After a light-hearted chat that saw Tones rate Instagram ahead of Twitter, red wine over white wine and Post Malone over Billie Eilish, Bester raised the topic of domestic violence.
“In South Africa a trending topic at the moment, and it’s been for a while, is gender-based violence, is the way that men treat women,” he said. “It should be a talk topic around the world – in fact it has been – but it’s very much topical here in South Africa.
“I just wanted you to give your thoughts on that that we can share with the men here, the women here, the youth of South Africa. Do you ever spend any time thinking about it and possibly thinking how the world can change to make that better?”
Tones took a moment to gather her thoughts, before offering an eloquent, heartfelt response.
“It’s tough because I’ve had experiences like that in my own life,” she said, “but I think that the hardest thing is to really talk about it to the men. It’s really tough for me. I probably didn’t expect that and honestly I think that the only thing I can really talk to is the women.”
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Tones then urged survivors of domestic violence to come forward with their stories. “There’s never an excuse for it,” she said. “There’s never a reason to accept it, and there’s no way in heaven or earth that you should find a reason or an excuse to stay with someone that’s physically violent, or even verbally violent towards you.
“The reason you partner up with someone is to be there to protect and support each other as equals. And if someone isn’t giving you that support, that protection, that love and that care that you deserve, move on and find someone that will. And always speak up about it, because once you do it becomes way less of a burden as a huge issue and turns into something that you move forward from.”
Bester applauded her response, adding “I’m glad I asked.”
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