Despite being one of the more underrated hip-hop artists in the world today, Vince Staples still has found enough fame to score himself plenty of detractors. Now, he wants them to help fund his retirement.
Yes, having grown tired of recent criticisms for his live performances, the 24-year-old Staples has created a GoFundMe campaign in which he asks for those who dislike him to pay for him to disappear, where he’ll be sure to provide “no songs, interviews, no anything.”
“First and foremost, I hope you’re having a great day. I really do,” began Vince Staples in his GoFundMe video. “Second, we’ve gotten a lot of complaints about our recent show performances, energy on stage, production choice. I think one person said it sounds like we’re rapping on robot video game beats. We’d like to apologise for that.”
“We would like to give you an alternative,” he continued. “You can decide to donate to the cause of $2 million, which will allow me to shut the fuck up forever and you will never hear from me again. No songs, interviews, no anything.”
“If not, you can choose to let me do what I want to do, when I want to do it. Get off of my dick or fund my lifestyle. Either way, we appreciate you.”
The campaign is currently asking for $2 million and so far, 91 users have donated a collective $1,199 to his cause. So there’s quite a bit of work to do for him to reach his goal.
Of course, if you’re eager to donate some money towards Staples’ retirement, but aren’t too sure what exactly that cash will get you, he’s been nice enough to provide a list of what he’ll do with the money, including “move to Palmdale,” “buy a Honda,”, buy a “year supply of soups for the homies locked down,” and “buy a puppy”.
We've crossed the thousand dollar threshold! Looking at puppies as I type right now this is so exciting.
— vince (@vincestaples) March 7, 2018
Why everybody playing broke right now? I knew yall loved me.
— vince (@vincestaples) March 7, 2018
So if you’re not a fan of Vince Staples and would rather he quit music completely, now’s the time to dig deep and help the man buy a puppy. Otherwise, sit back and enjoy the sheer hilarity of something as outlandish as this.
Check out Vince Staples’ ‘Norf Norf’:
