Content Warning: This article about Lil Wayne discusses suicide. If you need help in a crisis, call Lifeline on 13 11 14. For further information about depression contact Beyond Blue on 1300224636 or talk to your GP, local health professional or someone you trust.
Lil Wayne has opened up about his battle with mental health issues, revealing that he attempted suicide at the age of 12.
During an episode of Emmanuel Acho’s Uncomfortable Conversations series (via Billboard), Wayne explained that he realised he was dealing with mental illness when he was 10 years old.
“When I was told that I couldn’t have what I wanted, what I dreamed of and what I desired and that was to rap… I was willing to die for it,” he said.
Wayne continued on to reveal that he shot himself in the chest after his mother found out that he had lied about his school schedule, putting his burgeoning rap career in jeopardy.
“So that was a buildup. … Thoughts everywhere. Main thought was, ‘I’m gonna show you.’ … I picked up the phone, I called the police. Yes, I knew where she kept her gun. And it was in her bedroom. And so I went in her bedroom, grabbed the gun — I already made the phone call — looked in the mirror, did like that,” he continued while pointing his fingers like a gun to the side of his head. “Of course, it was like, ‘Oh no,’ ’cause I got a little too scared, that was my head. Like ‘Nah nah.’ But then I said, ‘F— it.'” he said.
He continued: “I was like, ‘You know what? Start thinking I had to get myself mad and noticed that I didn’t have to.’ That’s what scared me. How I knew I had mental health problems was I pulled the trigger.”
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When Acho asked where he shot, he added, “In my chest. Didn’t feel it, aimed for my heart. And didn’t feel a thing, though. So I wasn’t going through any pain. It was the shock. I woke up to boom, boom, boom, to the police knocking. And that’s what woke me up.”
From there, Wayne said that police arrived but the only person to acknowledge him was an off-duty officer named Robert Hobbler, who he calls Uncle Bob.
According to Wayne, Hobbler picked him up off the floor and took him to the hospital in a police car instead of waiting for an ambulance to arrive.
He concluded by saying that he wishes more people were aware of the realities of mental illness.
“It’s so real that we should only react in the realest way possible,” he said.
“If you a parent of a kid with a mental health problem or something … react with the realest reaction. I ain’t saying be like my mom, but all I know is from that day, from that day forward, I had never seen or met that lady again. That was the realest reaction she could’ve gave.”
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Check out Lil Wayne talking to Emmanuel Acho:
