One of the most ambitious local records we’ve had the pleasure exploring of late – You Beauty’s Illywhacka; a pub rock opera tracing a likely story about an online romance scammer who falls in love with his prey over the course of twelve pure scorchers – has just recently been given a vinyl release.
Thanks to the legends at Rice is Nice and Bedroom Suck Records this ‘journey of the suburban Australian heart’ was been pressed to wax for prosperity and to celebrate the guys behind the hilarious and touching release have kindly curated for us an eRomance eMix for falling in eLove. Check it out below and if you like what you’re hearing chat with the band online at www.inti-mate-connections.com.au.
Illywhacka is out now on vinyl via Rice is Nice & Bedroom Suck Records.
The Reels – ‘I Don’t Love You Anymore’
Every new love must come at the end of an old love. That’s the way it is, you can quote it for your English lit essay if you like. What better way than to break it off with an upbeat number such as this? Now, just dance gradually backwards, out of the room.
Split Enz – ‘Message To My Girl’
Neilo was a visionary: who would have known in 1985 or whenever this came out, that it’s about the coming of the SMS age and how we’d soon spend a decade fitting our romance into 120 characters / 22 cents.
The Beach Boys – ‘I’d Love Just Once to See You’
The kewl thing about eRomance™ is the increase of physical desire by the absence of the physical element. Whereas back in the day you’d probably already engaged in anonymous group sex before you thought, ‘this person’s quite nice too’, now we’re in our little ivory mobile towers its all switched up. And though I’ve googled all your interests to ensure they align with mine, and though we’re a perfect match on paper and can already communicate fluently using only emojis, I’d love just once to see you in the nude.
The Blue Nile – ‘The Downtown Lights’
When you’re texting and/or sexting, there’s only so much the person on the other end can be expected to imagine. You got to set the scene, don’t just dive straight into dirty talk, tell me what’s going on, what you had for dinner, which of your housemates is sitting on the couch next to you even though you’ve lead me to believe that we’re all alone. Just as you can hear in this (a favourite) track a drizzly Glaswegian night lit up by the glow of steamy pub windows, you gotta get descriptive, man!
Arthur Russell – ‘You and Me Both’
You’ve arranged coordinates for the rendeveux, you’re nervous, you’ve never met a real boy/girl before. Just relax, the other party is no playa either, and ‘kissing you is something new, for you and me both’.
Usher – ‘Confessions Pt II’
Even with the advent of GPS track-your-partner- apps, little muck ups can still occur. While we act like robots, we are, apparently, still human. Learn from Usher, he knows that his main girl is going to come across some incriminating side chick shit on instagram sooner or later, so you may as well get in there first and get the honesty points.
Sade – ‘Is It A Crime’
No, it isn’t, as long as you haven’t received money or assets as a result of fraudulent representations to another person and/or party, it’s just love baby.
