Rising alt-pop artist Sarah Saint James released her debut EP, HOME IS WHERE THE HELL IS, last week, a record truly of the moment.
Recalling contemporaries like WILLOW and beabadoobee, Sarah combines raw storytelling with frenetic emo energy. The EP is an honest exploration of the musician’s life from the age of 15 until she left her hometown in Adelaide for the bright lights of Sydney.
Sarah may be unapologetically herself on HOME IS WHERE THE HELL IS, but it wasn’t always that way. Bullied for her weight and sexuality growing up, her music captures the trials and tribulations of someone who, as a queer person, didn’t fit in with her religious upbringing.
Her new EP, then, is infused with a clear hopefulness; things do get better, Sarah wants her listeners t0 know, if you reclaim authority over your true self.
“So many bad things happened to me in Adelaide, but it’s still my home,” Sarah says. “If ‘HOME IS WHERE THE HELL IS’, I’ll return as the queen of hell.
This EP shows all the most vulnerable pieces of me and writing it was almost more effective than therapy. The focus is on my personal experience living through hell and overcoming it all… even being able to accept everything that led me to this point which tells me that I came out the victor.”
HOME IS WHERE THE HELL IS should capitalise on the successful 2021 for Sarah: spotlighted as a featured artist on triple j Unearthed, she went viral on TikTok thanks to ‘mad at god’ (the lead single on the EP), with the song garnering streams and views in the millions at the time of writing.
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To mark the release of HOME IS WHERE THE HELL IS, Sarah took us through the EP’s five tracks in detail, which you can read below.
Sarah Saint James’s HOME IS WHERE THE HELL IS is out now on all streaming platforms.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ykah-U0JmU
HOME IS WHERE THE HELL IS Track by Track
‘mad at god’:
I wrote ‘mad at god’ from the perspective of 15 year old me, growing up queer and chubby in a Christian house and school. I was bullied from year 3 for being the ‘fat’ and ‘weird’ one, and would constantly be praying to God to wake up skinny, pretty and popular.
As I got older and realised that I was bisexual, I spent so much time on Google searching up if it was a sin to be queer, if I would go to hell etc. I wanted to write a song that encapsulated that, and really felt like the frustration of that age.
‘Heather’:
‘Heather’ is about a certain girl who headed an almost smear campaign against me within my friend group when I was really ill at 15. I became really sick in Year 10, and ended up in hospital for about a month and whilst I was there she spread a rumor about me throughout my friends and school.
When I watched the movie Heathers I immediately resonated with Veronica, feeling like the outcast but happy to stand up for who she was. I wanted to write a song about this girl for a long time, and it felt like the perfect metaphor.
‘fake ass friends’:
I wrote ‘fake ass friends’ about being at a party when I was younger with a bunch of people who weren’t actually my friends, I just wanted to be surrounded by people so I didn’t feel so alone.
I thought the entire night would make a good setting for a song, in a crowded house party while I sat against the bathroom door hearing my ‘friends’ in the hallway. I think that most people have felt that they’d rather be surrounded by a million fake friends so they look cool, then be and feel alone.
‘borderline’:
‘borderline’ is about my experience growing up with borderline personality disorder, which often results from complex trauma. During 2009 I went through a lot of traumatic experiences. One of which was being hospitalized for an extended period of time, and whilst I was being admitted into critical care (ICU) my father went to the UK to get married. I vividly remember my mum calling him, and him refusing to come home because he ‘didn’t want to be lonely’.
There’s not any more experiences in my life that have been as gut wrenching than feeling abandoned by my father. I wrote ‘borderline’ from that experience, quoting ‘he got me good, i got it bad’ referencing him. He is still unable to acknowledge or process any fault on his side, I don’t even know if he’s heard the song because I blocked him earlier this year.
‘HOME IS WHERE THE HELL IS’:
‘HIWTHI’ is probably my favorite song on the record. It’s the title of the EP, and as such I wanted it to feel like a big, impacting punch to the face. I wanted to write a song that felt like the finale of a 90s cult horror movie, and lyrically made people feel powerful and be the theme song for returning to your hometown victorious.
For me it feels like the final nail in the coffin for summarising my life from 15-19 in Adelaide, before leaving and coming back as the strong and independent person I am today.
