Shakira says she was attacked by a pair of wild boars whilst walking in a Barcelona park with her eight-year-old son, Milan.

Taking to Instagram stories, Shakira says she was attacked by two boars, who went on to seize her bag and retreat into the woods. It’s a story that makes me feel a lot less pathetic about being mugged in Barcelona by a local Artful Dodger.

“Look at how two wild boar which attacked me in the park have left my bag,” Shakira said, presenting her ruined bag to the camera. “They were taking my bag to the woods with my mobile phone in it.”

“They’ve destroyed everything,” Shakira said before turning to her son: “Milan tell the truth. Say how your mummy stood up to the wild boar.”

A feral boar crisis has been bubbling across Europe for years now, with the population expanding to more than 10 million across the continent. Boars can survive in almost any environment, including cities, where they can feed off garbage.

Shakira is only the latest victim of their wrath. In 2016, police in Spain received 1,187 calls about hogs attacking dogs, running into cars and holding up traffic. The pig problem came to a head in 2013, when a police officer attempted to shoot a wild boar, but missed, accidentally hitting his partner.

Feral pigs overriding human civilization feels like the only natural conclusion to… everything. I’d rather humanity come to an end at the hands of a grizzled boar than the far-more depressing climate crisis. If we’re going out, it should be a spectacle.

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