Pop culture is best when it’s at its worst – when headlines are so bad they’re good.
The Tone Deaf Trash Can is where we take some time to celebrate the funniest, weirdest and tackiest stories in music.
Don’t feel guilty – you’re allowed to enjoy it.
So Brandon Flowers Has Been Hoarding His Own Hair For The Past Seven Years
Brandon Flowers is currently doing some pretty heavy promo for his upcoming sophomore solo album, The Desired Effect. When you’re doing interview after interview, being asked the same list of questions over and over again, you’re bound to go off script eventually. One second you’re reeling off your inspirations for the eighth time that day, and the next you’re suddenly revealing your secret hidden stash of your own beard trimmings you’ve been collecting for seven years like a serial killer on Criminal Minds. At least that’s what happened to The Killers’ frontman this week.
“I have a Ziploc bag full of hair,” Flowers casually mentioned to The Independent. “I’ll grow five or six days growth, make sure that the sink is dry, use an electric razor, catch it in the sink, and then I’m able to just scoop it into the bag!”
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It’s probably at this stage, when the journalist dropped silent and his publicist flashed him a look of sheer horror, that Flowers realised he done fucked up. His deepest, darkest secret, one he’s been harbouring since 2008, was finally out.
“But it’s compacted! And it doesn’t smell,” he continues, trying to backtrack but knows the damage has already been done.
“I don’t know what to do with it yet. It means something.”
What does it mean, Brandon? What does anything mean? Are we human, dancer, or are we all just hair follicles in Brandon Flowers’ sealable bag of secrets?
One minute you’re collecting a bag of your hair, the next minute you’re selling a jar full of your belly button fluff on eBay.
It’s a slippery slope to My Strange Addiction, Brandon. Call us. We’re worried about you.
“It was an awesome experience”: Snoop Dogg On Smoking Weed At The White House
Take your stoner mate Jake’s best weed story and times it by 12 and you still won’t even get close to Snoop Dogg’s average bake session.
The Kush King recently stopped by Watch What Happens Live and got grilled all about his #420 activities. Then this happened, captured in GIFs by Buzzfeed.
Same.
Snoop goes on to admit he didn’t just rock up high to the White House, but he actually lit up in the toilets.
“It was an awesome experience. It was one for the ages. I can’t wait for him [Obama] to come out of office, so we can talk about what really, really, really went down.”
Is that a sly hint that the POTUS got involved? Did he inhale? We need to know.
Watch it below.
Steve Aoki Went Overboard, Gets Sued For Breaking Fan’s Neck
Here are some basic facts: when you touch water, you’ll get wet; when you touch a flame, you’ll get burnt; when you jump from a height in an inflatable boat onto a crowd of people, you will hurt someone.
Clearly someone forgot to clue in old mate Steve Aoki about that last one, because the producer is getting sued by a woman named Brittany Hickman after breaking her neck when he landed on her head seconds after doing this:
The trial is set for later this year, and it’s not looking good for Aoki.
Steve Aoki wins this week’s douchebag award, and local Facebook commenter Turner Newmeir win’s this week’s best burn:
Nah I’ve Actually Had Enough: Robin Thicke’s Dad Has Sex To His Son’s Music
Just a heads up, I’m so sorry for telling you about this. But if I had to find out about this happening, then it’s only fair that you do too.
Robin Thicke’s dad, Alan Thicke, has revealed that he often listens to his son’s music while having sex with his wife of 10 years, Tanya Callou.
“When we do get freaky, we love [Robin’s song] ‘Sex Therapy’,” he US Weekly. “You have to admit, it’s a great song to get in the mood.”
Robin took to Twitter to respond to his dad’s embarrassing comments. Someone needs to tell them this is not cute family banter and it needs to be stopped.
Dad, I heard what you said to @usweekly… I need you to give back all of my music. Immediately. @Alan_Thicke
— Robin Thicke (@robinthicke) May 14, 2015
I feel nothing. I’m dead inside.
Also, as if this family couldn’t get any worse, Page Six are reporting that Robin’s dog has been hospitalised because it keeps getting into his weed stash.
Goodbye, cruel world.
We Are All J-Lo Scrolling Through Instagram During Mariah Carey’s Billboard Awards Performance
Dolphin queen Mariah Carey made her comeback at the Billboard awards over the weekend, only it didn’t quite go to plan. The elusive chanteuse performed her 90s hit, ‘Vision Of Love’, and it was going somewhat smoothly until she butchered the final high note and shattered every champagne glass in the room:
But the best part about the whole thing was watching bored J-Lo not watching it. Clearly not impressed with what she was seeing or hearing, the singer was caught looking at her phone throughout most of Mariah’s performance. If that’s not A+ shade, I don’t know what is.
Lopez looked up from her screen just in time for a camera crossover, but even then she couldn’t even pretend to care.
TFW your enemy finishes a class presentation:
