In news that should shock nobody. The Chainsmokers threw a drive-in concert on Saturday, where absolutely no social distancing took place.

The Chad duo hosted a charity fundraiser in The Hamptons. The event was, by all accounts, supposed to abide by social distancing guidelines amid the coronavirus pandemic. However, the three brain cells shared between 3,000 people couldn’t quite grasp the weight of this global health crisis.

The drive-in show took place on a 100-acre lot on Long Island, with the same chicness one would expect from a part in The Great Gatsby. Over 600 cars rocked up to the event, with over 3,000 people in the crowd.

Obviously, staying in the car was too much to ask from this band of numbskulls, with many exiting their allocated 20 by 20 foot parking spot in favour of bumping and grinding with their fellow milquetoast EDM devotees.

In defence of The Chainsmokers (a sentence that sent a pang of pain down my spine), there were a multitude of safety precautions put in place. Temperatures of punters were checked before they entered the lot, bathrooms were station six feet apart, masks were handed out to those who didn’t come prepared, and hand sanitizer was readily available. Even with all these measures put in place I wouldn’t be surprised if this led to another coronavirus spike.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Darwinism, do ya thing.

It truly was the most revolting display of misplaced wealth. Ticket packages for the event were sold for upwards of USD $25,000 and included gimmicks like access to a personal RV to watch the show from, meals to eat beforehand, and a helicopter ride that flew attendees directly to the site. I look at all these gauche, rich flops and feel thankful that although I am, and probably always will be, poor as hell — at least I’m not wealthy with ugly taste.

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I do feel slight guilt making fun of the ‘Closer’ hitmakers, their intentions were pure, money raised from the evening. The proceeds from the event are set to benefit the charities: No Kid Hungry, Southampton Fresh Air Home, and the Children’s Medical Fund of New York.