Demi Lovato has revealed she had survivor’s guilt after her overdose, because Mac Miller died from his.
In a recent interview with the Zane Lowe Show podcast, Lovato spoke openly about her personal battle with drug addiction. She also disclosed how Mac Miller’s death affected her, as it came so soon after her own near-fatal overdose.
“I had a lot of survivor’s guilt after my overdose because right after that, Mac Miller died, and it just put everything into perspective for me of, ‘That could have been you, that almost was you, and how are you going to live your life now?’ And it affected me a lot,” she told Lowe.
In July of 2018 Lovato was found unresponsive in her home after suffering from an apparent drug overdose. Lovato had overdosed on heroin – which she now believes was laced with fentanyl – and, after being taken to hospital, suffered three strokes and a heart attack.
Just two months later, Mac Miller was found dead from an apparent drug overdose in his San Fernando Valley home. Miller’s death was ruled an accidental overdose from a toxic mix of fentanyl, cocaine and alcohol.
Three men were charged with providing him with the drugs that killed him: In April, Ryan Reavis was sentenced to nearly 11 years in prison for his role in supplying fentanyl-laced pills to the rapper. In May, a second person, Stephen Walter, pleaded guilty to one count of Fentanyl distribution and was sentenced to 17 years in prison. A third man, Cameron Pettit, has not resolved his case as of yet.
Of course, it isn’t the first time Lovato has discussed survivor’s guilt – she also spoke about it following the death of rapper DMX.
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“Anytime that I see somebody OD or even pass away that’s in the public eye, I immediately think, ‘That could’ve been you had you not been putting all this work in the last couple of years of your life,’ there’s times where I’ve even talked about feeling survivor’s guilt because you do ask yourself, ‘Why am I still here, and why are others not?’” she told TMZ Live.
Lovato also revealed more about her own overdose in her interview with Lowe.
“When they found me, I was turning blue and the doctor said I had five to 10 more minutes left,” she said. “If no one had come in, I wouldn’t be here today.”
The singer also spoke about the incident during her 2021 documentary Demi Lovato: Dancing with the Devil, which was released on YouTube.
“I was left with brain damage, and I still deal with the effects of that today,” she said. “I don’t drive a car because there are blind spots in my vision. I also for a long time had a really hard time reading.”
Lovato said she felt they were reminders of what could happen if she ever got “into a dark place” again.
“I’m grateful for those reminders, but also I’m so grateful that I was someone who didn’t have to do a lot of rehabbing,” she said. “The rehabbing came on the emotional side and the therapeutic side, internally. I did a lot of work after that – just not physically.”
Watch the full interview here:
